seems i'm getting out of control . feels like i'm running out of soul . i'm seeing lights . so i speaking right and breathing life . i predicted all my recent plights . i'm exhausted . trying to fall asleep . i'm lost inside my recent fight . it burdens on my shoulder, now . burning all my motors down . inspiration drying up . motivation slowing down . tired of all wardrobe changing . playing all these different spirits . living off these separate souls . point of life is getting hollow . can't wait for the exit hole . give me room to entry wound . let me in or let me go .

Dec 15, 2012

boyfriend of mine :)

Dec 12, 2012

okay its been a very long long time i dint touch on my blog. its been a while, there's a really long gap i guess.. yah~ since i left blogging. err.. no! am not really left blogging, am just doing it very seldom. there's so much things i wana express here but...with a very limited time, i got no chance to write a post for every precious moment, for every joy and sorrow that i've gone thru these days and before.. there's a lot of things dat should be written here, yah. SO MUCH, its been missed out. i miss blogging .. like really, i miss telling bout my stuffs, about yahhh good bad wise stupid old young stuffs of mine .. its not like the first time am blogging, am telling almost every single thing, every good thing, every bad thing, every feelin, stupid mupid things.. nahh.. enough to tell ya dat i was bound on a fucking hectic student's life.  urmm... okay this is just an introduction actually, i'll proceed with the next post for the next story of mine. not now, maybe on the next day or maybe next week? haha .. i used to reveal things here on my blog. i got things to share about my boyfriend of course, bout my best friend so called 'ibu'. hrmm? should i?

ohh i guess am done with my intro, but i would like to end this up with a slight info bout my on-going relationship with my man, so far.. it was really really okay.. everything is just positive. :)

Sep 27, 2012

oohh..It's been ages since I last blogged. I don't know why did I stopped blogging, maybe it was because I lost the sparks and the interest to write about what i've been going thru.. Anyhow, yes I do admit I've changed a little and I was kind of lost with myself back then. But fret not, I'm back now. And I am full of stories of the life of mine yet again. I'm not the old naswa, but I am still naswa. There's a lot of stuff that I want to talk about. But let's wait for the right time on my other blog post aite.. 

Aug 31, 2012

Lesson learned. Girls, if a guy truly loves eu, he wont give millions of reason to deny that eu are his, he don't have to keep eu as a secrete or denying that eu both are dating. He will admit that eu belong to him, even if eu are not officially married to him, and plus he is not shy to tell the whole world that eu are his girl, more important is that he is accepting eu just the way eu are. So, as am abt to tell ya here, I've found a guy who is proud to have me, who actually try to make me feel happy, i called him as 'jemmi' and am happy that he turned out to be wayyyy muchhh wayyy better than my ex (am not saying that he's the best, because i dont set myself to always trust a guy and i dont put 100% trust n hopes on any guy..i dont hv the guts to do so~ again n again in life. its okay to make mistake, but not to repeat the same mistake again n again.. but still.. i wont give up on tryin).. life is unexpected, we cant predict what will happen in the next chapter of life.. thats why i decided not to make an official relationship status on fb nor twitter.. i just wana see how far it will go.. (i mean, my r/ship with him) I could finally say, I've found a guy who truly loves me like my late herol did. Even one of my bestfren said that she is happy that Jemmi turned out to be the kind of guy she want's me to be with. 

i've got to know him since last year, in June.. in Genting Highland when i was doing my part-time job under the same company with him. he starts approaching and contacting me since last february, yea in this year.. i'm not really sure how it goes at first but all i can say, the way he treat me is just the same way even until now.. and even much better in here and now. i see nothing is changes. he is a nice guy (yea this is all i can say at this moment, who knows whats next).. Its been 8months.. i dont know if i was enchanted to meet him.. but am glad that he still with me in ups and down. 

So there you have it. How I came to know my new love. He kind of have this bad boy vibe going on, but trust me, when eu get to know him. His actually a real sweetheart. Honestly, am trying to get use to him and learn about him still, Jemmi is older than I am. Owh, his actually 5 years older than I am. I know, too young, but hye, age doesn't really matters right? As long as both really love each other. am still have a long way to go still, he's not rushing me.. so I'm just leaving things to fall together with time. =) 

Aug 12, 2012

young n wild in mixx

Apr 25, 2012

why werent eu.

The Truth

I wish i told you more earlier what happened
I couldnt
Swallow my pride ..
And its crazy as you heard it from somebody else
And now u asking me why
Dont know why i did that to you
i swear i thought you made me complete
Sorry i made you look like a fool
But i needed someone here with me

Why werent you there when i needed you by my side
Why werent you there when you made everything so right
Why werent you there cause it hurts like hell to know that were trought
but finally Im telling you the truth

I wish this situation wasnt so complicated
But you deserve to know
Ahh, one day led to another
Stop thinking about us
Then I couldnt do it no more
dont know why I did that to you
i swear i thought you made me complete
Sorry i made you look like a fool
But i needed someone here with me

Why werent you there when i needed you by my side
Why werent you there when you made everything so right
Why werent you there cause its hurts like hell to know that were throught
but finally Im telling you the truth

This is also sad
And I cant take It back
And to see you cry
Makes me feels so bad
I Wish I could take this big mistake
Make it go away but its too late

Why werent you there when i needed you by my side
Why werent you there when you made everything so right
Why werent you there cause its hurts like hell to know that were through
But finally Im telling you the truth 

i'm sorry.

I’m not who I used to be.

Becuz I’ve been hurt. I’ve gone through a lot of shit which has made me who I am today. Over these past years, so many things have happened. Things that have changed who I used to.. little things, big things. Everything, as time passes, no one stays the same person. People tell me that I’ve changed. Don’t eu think I know that? Of course I’ve changed, I’m not going to stay the same person forever. Pain does that to people. 

Apr 23, 2012

losing grip

Apr 22, 2012

marilyn monroe

Apr 19, 2012

dean's award 2012

"merah mak ngah ye harini.." bak kata huda
haih  -,-'
hope next sem dapat DL jugak..
tapi susa la.. tapi.. cube jela hm hm.

location : dewan seri negeri, ayer keroh, melaka.

 ayu  en en.. k k bye.

me and mubarak. giteww.

barisan hosmet n bestie yang di sayangi.

Mar 29, 2012

#if i had a boyfriend.

i want eu to smile at me each n every single time we meet.. i want eu to hug me from behind, unexpectedly! i want eu to give me a rose, not a bunch of it, just a rose. huhu.. i want eu to kiss my forehead. i want eu to give me a moo moo back rides everyday. ngee =b i want eu to tell me eu miss me. i want eu to take amazing photos with me. i want eu to sing for me. i want eu to hold me at ur back. i want eu to drop everything down n run to me. i want eu to hug me happily and swing me around. i want eu to come to my house n meet my family. i want eu to lay in my bed with me n just hold me. i want eu to watch the sunrise n sunset with me. i want eu to watch comedy movie with me n laugh together n rewind the funny parts n laugh again. i want eu to kiss my nose. i want eu to be true to me all the time. i want eu to squeeze me tight whenever eu get me into ur arms. i want eu to let me dress eu up n make eu look silly. i want eu to manage my hair. i want eu to hold my hands n play with my fingers. i want eu to write a song n poem for me. i want eu to wipe my tears away. i want eu to feed me with ur food. i want eu to stare in in my eyes n convince me that i'm your only one. i want eu to show me how much eu need me in ur dailylife. n i want eu to know how much i need eu to be true to me. i just, want eu.

random thought of mine

i know at the beginning of the chapter, everything goes smoothly, everything was just nice, no trouble, sweet-sweet things happen around, we care much about each other, smile myself just like retarded steel over the phone everyday when we're texting.. but WHAT IF we already reach in the middle, where at time we start to pay less attention, start to ignore, and hurt each other, fighting over trivial matter, blaming each other, blaming ppl around, take things for granted and dont attempt to fix things.

am scared of losing, especially when eu're part of my precious. of course! who doesnt? thats why i dont wish to form any bound with eu, thats why i dont put too much hope on eu. yea i was thinking why give hope if in the end, or just in the middle of ongoing relationship or halfway, eu broke me into pieces? owhy say i love eu if later then we're not gonna make it thru? its pathetic to see the happiness gone...slowly <-- definitely! this usually happened.. am used to it. And thats that! all this mix feeling lead me to stop loving, oh actually stop liking or admiring. ..

anyway anywhat..looks can be deceiving. right? it is called "prima facy"... know dat when am taking LAW subject. but the term is being use in LAW n it is not related anyhow~. haha..we called it first sight... where we give first impression towards someone we just knew for a few months.. just like me towards this guy huh...

eu look nice eu look polite eu show respect,. but who know? what are eu actually. who know, when time is moving, when the weather is changing, eu also changing over time to time... unexpectedly. HOW IF?? nahhh... thats what am afraid of. ppl change n this things happen.

well actually am talking this bcuz i've been thru this fucking lame ass shit things for so many many times... it was sick. swear to God. i've cried thousand tears n life sucks at time, everything went wrong n whoh! its terrible enough. godknows am hurt... so i dont wanna be in this pain over n over again.. will someone comprehend me? no? nahh...


nice guy
he always there for me
its not abt who i know the longest, but its abt who came n never leave
he used to be in my days
i know i eventually will appreciate the one who never leave me alone
he respect me and always keep his mannerism
i dont know if he is true
i once lay my head on his shoulder and he told me he like it =)

Mar 19, 2012

nike~ just do it!


Mar 1, 2012

like no body business~

nothing!! ok Here's a lil advice for us girls to be on track : Never love a player cuz he'll never love eu back.