astamixa: March 2012

Mar 29, 2012

#if i had a boyfriend.

i want eu to smile at me each n every single time we meet.. i want eu to hug me from behind, unexpectedly! i want eu to give me a rose, not a bunch of it, just a rose. huhu.. i want eu to kiss my forehead. i want eu to give me a moo moo back rides everyday. ngee =b i want eu to tell me eu miss me. i want eu to take amazing photos with me. i want eu to sing for me. i want eu to hold me at ur back. i want eu to drop everything down n run to me. i want eu to hug me happily and swing me around. i want eu to come to my house n meet my family. i want eu to lay in my bed with me n just hold me. i want eu to watch the sunrise n sunset with me. i want eu to watch comedy movie with me n laugh together n rewind the funny parts n laugh again. i want eu to kiss my nose. i want eu to be true to me all the time. i want eu to squeeze me tight whenever eu get me into ur arms. i want eu to let me dress eu up n make eu look silly. i want eu to manage my hair. i want eu to hold my hands n play with my fingers. i want eu to write a song n poem for me. i want eu to wipe my tears away. i want eu to feed me with ur food. i want eu to stare in in my eyes n convince me that i'm your only one. i want eu to show me how much eu need me in ur dailylife. n i want eu to know how much i need eu to be true to me. i just, want eu.

random thought of mine

i know at the beginning of the chapter, everything goes smoothly, everything was just nice, no trouble, sweet-sweet things happen around, we care much about each other, smile myself just like retarded steel over the phone everyday when we're texting.. but WHAT IF we already reach in the middle, where at time we start to pay less attention, start to ignore, and hurt each other, fighting over trivial matter, blaming each other, blaming ppl around, take things for granted and dont attempt to fix things.

am scared of losing, especially when eu're part of my precious. of course! who doesnt? thats why i dont wish to form any bound with eu, thats why i dont put too much hope on eu. yea i was thinking why give hope if in the end, or just in the middle of ongoing relationship or halfway, eu broke me into pieces? owhy say i love eu if later then we're not gonna make it thru? its pathetic to see the happiness gone...slowly <-- definitely! this usually happened.. am used to it. And thats that! all this mix feeling lead me to stop loving, oh actually stop liking or admiring. ..

anyway anywhat..looks can be deceiving. right? it is called "prima facy"... know dat when am taking LAW subject. but the term is being use in LAW n it is not related anyhow~. haha..we called it first sight... where we give first impression towards someone we just knew for a few months.. just like me towards this guy huh...

eu look nice eu look polite eu show respect,. but who know? what are eu actually. who know, when time is moving, when the weather is changing, eu also changing over time to time... unexpectedly. HOW IF?? nahhh... thats what am afraid of. ppl change n this things happen.

well actually am talking this bcuz i've been thru this fucking lame ass shit things for so many many times... it was sick. swear to God. i've cried thousand tears n life sucks at time, everything went wrong n whoh! its terrible enough. godknows am hurt... so i dont wanna be in this pain over n over again.. will someone comprehend me? no? nahh...