seems i'm getting out of control . feels like i'm running out of soul . i'm seeing lights . so i speaking right and breathing life . i predicted all my recent plights . i'm exhausted . trying to fall asleep . i'm lost inside my recent fight . it burdens on my shoulder, now . burning all my motors down . inspiration drying up . motivation slowing down . tired of all wardrobe changing . playing all these different spirits . living off these separate souls . point of life is getting hollow . can't wait for the exit hole . give me room to entry wound . let me in or let me go .
Ezzaty, she's my bestie ever.. sometimes, she was my so called, my bitcy~ haha.. i manage 2 fill out my offday went to kl meet her.. 3 days 2 nyte, we got an awW-some moments !! ;) we talk, we laugh out loud, making silly jokes around, we express our feelings, we played, we sing when the music on, we dance, we scream, we having much fun, we took pictures together, gossiping n etc~ all we did to at least, makes me forget the hardest pain inside.seriously, she's the one dat i can get along with less probs~ she's cute, funny, cracks!! n all.. n i'm feeling perfectly great when being with her.. now let the pictures tell the stories =) holahhh... i wish i could press rewind -,-' turn back the hands of time.. huu
"Having a few number of true friends is always better than having a large number of friends that doesn't care"
SMILE = The best MASK !! ;)
yah, It's easier to pretend dat i am happy than to explain why i am not.
urm..but, in the end of the day when i was in KL, Ileftmy f0nat theIBTS,IdintrealizehowIcouldmiss my fon, huhu.. yes, i'm careless.. emm its happened maybe 'cuz i'm in a hurry rush heading to the bus..... btw, zaty had found my f0n, tanxs God.. n now, it wud be safe under zaty's care.. she keeping it for me~ n i dun feel like wanting to ask her to post it to me thru express post or wut n wut, 'cuz i'm feeling much better with0ut my cellphone.. haha.. luckily!~ =))
i'm listening to the song.. n i've been thinking a lot abt love n dis song fits perfectly for it.. Someone always says dat they love eu so much n they will never hurt eu n eu will last forever n they make eu believe them.. Then they do it, they break ur heart. n then eu wish eu never believed them n then eu wonder if they ever really loved eu or ever really cared n eu know the answer.. They never did~ But eu did love them n eu did care n dat hurts the most knowing they never did.</3
everyday i refrain myself from send 'i miss eu so much' to him.. -,-' plus, he's using new number, which i myself, dun even know his number.. i know imma jerk.. been excluded to know his new number.. yes, i dun wanna mess around him, make he feels all annoyed~ i tink abt it for so many times, shud i text him? shud i greet him? pretending gud all the time? no use larh.. no my heart isn't a stone to say that i'm okay of wut had happened to us.. yup, he's okay, yet i'm not.. its existed deep down inside, which no one knows abt it.. yes, eu can never change ppl, they are who they are, but eu can change how eu feel abt them.. but since i hv the deepest feeling for him in the core of my heart, it might take so long juz to feel alright.. n i wished someday, God will change myself into some1 who dun know how to feel anymore~ * dun have sense of feeling~ haha~ talk nonsense =,=' hola i just wishing larh.. since true heart never respected. ;( its okay.. let me bleed for a while, it just will be better in time, nothing can push me.. n now, i'd just away from everything~ just to calm myself, not to hiding~
"in life, eu cant lose wut eu never had, eu cant keep wuts not urs, n eu cant hold onto something dat does not want to stay"
i had sent diz video to his inbox.. cant remember when, but it was in between my broken days.. how i'd wish to be with him again... *actually.. =....( but all was just a loving memory.. i cant bring him back to myself, i know his feeling great right now.. happy all the time with his new life with out me.. all i can do is praying for his health & happiness.. may god bless his life.. =') god only know how it feels..
in the middle of the pitch black night
in the dark corners of my shallow mind
on the clean white tile floor
cutting deep red lines into the skin I abhor
a long sleeve and cunning guile
the magic of a funny story and a smile.
I'm a firm believer in the idea dat people come into ur lives for specific reasons whether eu realize wut dat reason may be. I hv a wonderful group of frens n I'm not sure why they r all in my life but I think 1 day I will know.
Even the friends that aren't uur friends anymore came into ur life 2 help eu on ur way.
Everything dat has happened today has got me thinking abt life n all my frens.
flashing back all the memories.. the old pictures... =) walahhh