seems i'm getting out of control . feels like i'm running out of soul . i'm seeing lights . so i speaking right and breathing life . i predicted all my recent plights . i'm exhausted . trying to fall asleep . i'm lost inside my recent fight . it burdens on my shoulder, now . burning all my motors down . inspiration drying up . motivation slowing down . tired of all wardrobe changing . playing all these different spirits . living off these separate souls . point of life is getting hollow . can't wait for the exit hole . give me room to entry wound . let me in or let me go .

Nov 29, 2010

finally i found you!

tanxs God finally i found my beloved necklace! huu.. This chain features a piece of pendant dat has carved of my face .. yah! its my image on it! it has lost since the last 6 month~ 

Nov 25, 2010

Avenged Sevenfold - So far Away

last nyte.. haky post me diz song thru FB wall.. included "How do I live without the ones I love?" on my wall post.. n i guess i luv diz song.. tanxs sayang  The ones that we love are here with me.. btw, i guess diz song is usually addressed 2 someone who has gone.. or slipped away.. but it's okay anyway.. we can take some implicit meaning contained in diz lyric aite~  yah~ we are far apart.. n i hope, someday we'll be able 2 spend time together.. mish ya so much =)

Great song written about James "The Rev" Sullivan

Never feared for anything.
Never shamed but never free.
A laugh that healed the broken heart with all that it could

Lived the life so endlessly.
Saw beyond what others see.
I tried to heal your broken heart with all that I could

Will you stay?
Will you stay away forever?

How do I live without the ones I love?
Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned.
Place and time always on my mind.
I have so much to say but you're so far away.

Plans of what our features hold
Foolish lies of growin' old
It seems we're so invincible, the truth is so cold.

A final song, a last request
A perfect chapter laid to rest
Now and then I try to find a place in my mind

Where you can say,
You can stay awake forever.

How do I live without the ones I love?
Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned.
Place and time always on my mind.
I have so much to say but you're so far away.

Sleep tight, I'm not afraid.
The ones that we love are here with me.
Lay away a place for me
'Cause as soon as I'm done, I'll be on my way
To live eternally.

How do I live without the ones I love?
Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned
Place and time always on my mind
And the light you left remains but it's so hard to stay
I have so much to say but you're so far away.

I love you
You were ready
The pain is strong enough to despise
But I'll see you
When He lets me
Your pain is gone, your hands are tied.

So far away.

And I need you to know

So far away
And I need you to,
Need you to know...

Nov 24, 2010

my boring day

Everytime i fell bored,I will start 2 wander my mind 2 things dat can be fun.... one of the things i've been duin on today is... :D

i've carved my nickname using sweet tablets :) pretty aite~ haha

n diZ blog is still one of the most fun, n cheap stuff ever available 4 me... i might keep on writing everyday...  4 the rest of my life because i am pretty sure stress won't ever leave me.. n boredom will kick in crucial moment, n i hv no choice 2 kick it away~ usually boredom resulted from lack of entertainment.. having 2 the same thing over n over again....

blogging is the way I am playing with words.. no matter what eu say... I regard diz hobby as in art in is the art of expressing myself no matter how inferior I feel inside.. how I feel like I am a loser ..

diZ blog is a lil bit of diz n a lil bit of dat.. but who cares.. diz is a way I express myself... if eu ever read a chaotic entry , dat was also representing how my brain was thinking at dat moment... I must admit dat at times my brain can be too chaotic 2 even thing straight!.. haha~

misi menyelamatkan kakak

i saw diz 'geli2' creeping on my systa's blanket.. i dunno wut shud i do since i am coward on diz thing.. but i've been tryin' 2 find a solution.. n yah~ ..

action : kill dat sucker using diz powerful ridsect!
result : success

i'm the hero of the nyte!! grats naswa. gud job!! XD

my day !! =]

emak membuat donut 2 hari lepas jika tidak silap saya... ini adalah hasilnya. terima kasih emak =)

semalam saya terasa maw makan buah buahan.. dan saya tidak berjaya menghabiskan kesemuanya sekali.. terima kasih emak =)

saya rasa saya adalah org paling bahagia dalam dunia ni if sy dpt makan ini hari hari. saya membelinya d 7-eleven berdekatan, terima kasih 7-eleven =)

robie adalah vokalis kumpulan pensil yang pernah meletup dikalangan indie band suatu ketika dahulu.. dia baru sahaja menamatkan sesi pembelajarannya di UKM, dia  mengajak saya keluar lepaking~ minum cikong dan mkn keropok lekor.. terima kasih robie =)

Nov 23, 2010

. . . . .


Life is too short.
Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness
Laugh when eu can
Apologize  when  eu  should
and let go of what eu can't change.

"The important thing is not to stop questioning.
Curiosity has its own reason to existing"

yah.. i had something to tell ya.. i guess if i never met eu,i wouldn't like eu... if i didn't like eu, i wouldn't love eu.. if i didn't love eu, i wouldn't miss eu.. But I did aite~, I do, n I will..n i wish eu knew..   i noe sometimes imma quite pretender n make eu bored with my attitude.. wut i'm tryin' 2 do is try my best 2 keep eu stay with me. i'd never been so suppressed am i??? i'm not easily anger with eu? throw harsh word to eu.. no?? i'm not easy 2 sulk.. i'm not easily accuse eu of the none 'cuz i want eu 2 noe how i trust u, i keep believing on eu.. i dun wanna be so fuckin' emo n act like a Queen control.. i'm tryin' not to bitching in wutever eu wanna do... just do it as long as eu still can control urself.. eu know its love when all eu want is dat person 2 be happy,even eu're not part of their happiness.. but 4 sometimes, i might hv to remind eu, am i annoying? irritating?? all i did is for the sake of eu n me.. I'm not always asking eu diz n dat~ yah i did it 4 sometimes.. but i guess it's not too much aite.. i bet there's no woman in diz world dat dint even care of wut her bf/husband is duin'.. i often exaggerate things eu do in which case it is somethin' dat hurts n touched my feelings deeply..sometimes u make me jealous.. i admit it.. but i'm tryna keep it cool~ can eu see how i dun wan 2 be left??... there's so many things i'm afraid of..but in every moment i've been thru, i tried 2 avoid the things dat would make me feel down.. eu still couldn't catch why do i need eu so much...well..i dun wish 2 be everything 2 everyone..but i would like 2 be something 2 someone..fallin' in love with someone isn't always 2 be easy.. anger..tears..laughter.. it's when eu want 2 be together despite it all..dats when eu truly love another.. i'm sure of it~

btw.. today.. i mish my (pp tembam).. lol.. his cheeks.. huu

yey!! it's mine..! XD

Nov 22, 2010

All american Nightmare

It's American Rockband, Hinder performing All American nightmare ! wow.. is was an AWW-SOME song n the chick is really hott!! but the video could be better!  "pornstar dancing"..  i luv the tattoo~ huu..Did anyone else see the nipple shot at nice hahaha.. How is diz not extremely controversial??? There are 3 times when eu can see her full breasts... Dun get me wrong.. american nightmare represents something else in diZ song ... juz listen ... stop interpreting stuff ... I love Hinder's music, they are 1 of my favorite bands. well.. diz song is sung by a man! she's not singing, lol~ I juz didn't know it was legal 4 them 2 put nudity in a music video.. dat's all...

Nov 20, 2010

roti bakar

gud mornin'.................. i just woke up at 9.. giv a morning wish 2 my hubby.. then g tgk cermin, gosok2 mata, gosok2 rmbut yg messy ney, then pg dapur basuh muka, brus gigi.. nmpk my abah tgk dduk kt meja mkn smbil mnum kopi.. pp dia bengkak sbb skt gigi, kesian abah~ 1st time nmpk dia mcm tuhh.. my adek,mija.. tgh dduk skali smbil mnum milo ice pagi2 buta.. mak pulak tgh sapu2 planta kt roti, sy tau mak sy nk bakar roti.. then i asked my emak 2 make it 4 me too...mak,nak jgkk masehh.. ;p then aq join dduk d c2 smbil mnum air. of coz la amek mineral dlu.. i drink plenty of mineral water 4 the sake of my health aite~ n lg 1, aq x suka roti bkr guna toaster, i prefer msk ats dpur punya, lg sdp kutt.. toaster pun jd hiasan shja.

tanxs emak ! =D mak buatkan utk aq n mija je, sbb kak aq n ika, roh dia stil tgh jln2 mkn angin lg.. okay then, ;> sejuk ouh pagi td.. kaki pun sejuk,  roti tuh x dpt d hbiskan sbb mcm da knyg. then lps da knyg br prasan ade bsing2 dgr lgu d psng kuat2.. huu,, jiran blakang ruma... kawin x abis2 lg.. harini mjlis smbut menantu.. haish x sngka plak topek da kawin.. (taufik) dlu dia salu jgk flirt with me, poyo2 jek.. dr kcik mcm poyo2 je nek beskal.. tejtuh sblh ruma aq, then da bsr sket, tkr beskal besar plak, jtuh dpn aq jgk dkt ruma aq ni, bajet2 terror je bwk beskal nk tnjuk power je kje, pastuh da remaja, dia bwk motor plak.. mula2 mtor honda bulat bpk dia, haha.. aq n kak aq siap hafal ni bunyi mtor kapcai dia tuh if lalu sbla ruma aq, lama2, dia tukar mtor honda wave, pastu msa LC135 tgh femes, dia pun tkr pkai LC... then setahun lps dia da pkai kete viva... bpk dia belikan, ank bongsu.. suma dpt~  haish.. then dia modified.. smart ouh.. agak femes jgk kete dia kt mrsg ney.. mna2 prgi mst nmpk.. if dgr bunyi cm disco, da fhm da spe yg lalu... huhu.. pastu dia salu text ajk kuar nan dia.. dat time aq cm jwal2 mhl ke ape ntah.. asik refuse jew, then adela jgk sskli dia ajk lpk tuh aq pg la melepak jgk kt kopitiam.. hehex.. then g bowling, pastu 1 hari tuh dia ajk kuar pusing2 ngn dia nek kete, halamakk segan ouh aq.. x biase2! malu suma ade.. dia kate kli ni xnk dgr alsn, then mse my parents xde kt ruma.. pg mne tah.. dia pun benti la kt sbla ruma pick aq, aq pun cm poyo2 je wat2 cool je~ pas pusing2, g a.papan.. dye da mula romantic2 lak kt c2.. aq da cm rimas2 aq trus la ajk blk. kang x masal aq d ape2kan.. tidakk!! otw blk, 1 things yg kenot go~ dia benti kt tgh2 jln dpn greenhouse, ask me 4 a kiss, damnit! mmg nk kne penampa la ngn aq kt c2 mamat neyh.. nsb bek aq x kasi.. bkn bf aq, nk mnx mcm2, ade kne sepak nan aq ni kn. pastu balik... slamat gak la aq smpai uma.. pastu dia salu gak text aq.. lama2 aq cm x lyn sdh.. da ade bf.. kne setia la kutt.. haha,, agak poyo d c2~ f5 time tuh.. all the past.... shud be forgotten.. tup2, dia da kawin.. bagus la... tp aiyahh,, muda lg ouh.. xpe2, da jdoh.. best wishes 4 ya!! =D

lps mkn roti bakar tuh.. aq kuar, tgk suma org busy.. mak aq pun pg tolong2.. dr smlm.. trnmpk plak c topek tgh nk park kete.. woah2.. da jd laki org~ haha.. nk jumpa bini dia la.. kak aq ckp, dia kwn nan  bini topek, bini topek text ajk kak aq teman dia kt blek.. woah2, kang nk pg la. woot2! huuu...bestnye kawin... bila nk kawin ni haish.. ;p 

Nov 18, 2010

fingers breakdance!!

thumb up 4 diz fingers breakdance performance!!! ;>
n definitely diz reminds me of someone who had persuaded me using diz way 2 make me laugh.. n i guess its working! huhu.. it's juz somethin' in the past... no need 2 talk 'bout it anymore~

my cutie a.k.a Jared Leto

ouh mai ouh mai...!! homaigod!!
tis is my Jared Leto!

Jared Joseph Leto (born December 26, 1971) is an American actor and musician. He has appeared in films such as Fight ClubGirl, InterruptedPanic RoomAmerican PsychoAlexanderRequiem for a DreamLord of WarMr. Nobody and Chapter 27. He is the lead vocalistrhythm guitarist and main songwriter for the American rock band 30 Seconds to Mars and has directed music videos under the pseudonym Bartholomew Cubbins 

eu say Lll' Wayne,I say 30 seconds to mars!!.. diz music video was fuckin' AWW-SOME!

 sexiest man  woOt2.. i loves all the way he is~ his eyes~ damn it, i like it too much!
He's fabulous.
He is fantastic.
He's got the characteristics of a star.
Keep it up! jared i love you !!!


can't zzZ

Diz picture essentially captions my unconscious life.. My sleeping life~ Or rather my insomnia... anyways. I’ll hv periods withOut it, of course~ but it always comes back. It’s pretty much my herpes, i mean, never toO sure when it’s gOnna strike but always knOwing it very well might... I think diZ is an effect of my behavior in which i always stayed up at nyte during the passed examination week~ so by the time midnight rolled around I couldn’t keep my eyes close... nothing on my mind, nothing distracting me, n yet I lie there until dawn....n no, dat’s not an exaggeration~ Hours upon hours I lie there, angry, upset, exhausted~ I wanted 2 scream, 2 throw sOmething, but I juz lie there~ n lie there~ n lie there~~ I can’t count how many nytes I hv juz like diz one. Even when I hv a gud nyte sleep I wake up a few times, n sOmetimes can’t get back to sleep.. n start 2 bother my hubby, haky~ very rarely do I sleep well thru the nyte, restfully~

MILO!! haha.... i'm here.. now.. in front of my lappy, typing n texting while sucking a cup of milo powder~ yeah!! =D

Nov 17, 2010


Diz is wut we've done during examination week!!

................MAKE UP ARTIST : NASWA a.k.a ASTAMIXA.................

betty ugly@nerdy

......................................ARTIST : NUR LIYANA.......................................


well, today is aidiladha eid.. i woke up at noOn~ huh~ seriously prayers go out 2 feast.. idk y my parents dint wake me up in diz early mornin'? maybe they were toO busy.. i saw they work together 2 clean the entire area of the house.. meet n hv a talk with neighbors.. we r unable 2 visit granny at the hometown bcoz my dad could only leave 1 day for working.. hurmm.. today is juz like the same old days.. we did nothing much 2 celebrate diz eid.. ate together with the whole fmly.. ppl n frens came visited us, n the same goes 2 us~ my mom has been cooking nasi minyak wif rendang ayam n ayam masak merah..  it's delicious! haha... there's nothing better than ur own mother's cooking~ yeah =D


i'm abt 2 finish up my novel reading b4 i go 2 practical, diz is 1 of my novel with Gothic elements...

"If u're looking 4 formulaic, skip diz one : if, however, u want a tantalizing, atmospheric Gothic romance, Fallen is well worth picking up."

diz novel is abt sexy n fascinating n scary.... i loved loved loved it !!

a bit summary from the whole story..


There's something achingly familiar about Daniel Grigori, Mysterious and aloof, he captures Luce price's attention from the moment she sees him on her first day at Sword & Cross boarding school in Savannah. He's the one bright spot in a place where cell phones are forbidden, the other students are screw ups, and security cameras watch every move.
Except Daniel wants nothing to do with Luce-he goes out of his way to make that very clear. But she can't let it go. Drawn to him like a moth to a flame, Luce has to find out what Daniel is so desperate to keep secret... even if it kills her.
Dangerously exciting and darkly romantic. FALLEN is a page-turning thriller and the ultimate love story.

Nov 16, 2010

2 weeks at home

i only hv 2 weeks 2 relax n enjoy my holiday at home.. it isn't enough, seriously~  but there's nOthing i can do 2 avoid this... i dun hv the opportunity 2 celebrate diz holiday 4 a very short period of time since my dad worked. so i decided juz 2 spend my time 2 the fullest at home 4 diz 2 weeks.. get up in the mOrning, clean up the house, faceboOking, listen 2 the music, surfing n watch any of my fav MV, watch muvi, reading novel,  lunch 2gether wif my fmly, playin' wif my pet named baby, texting, watch any programs on the broadcast astro, chit chat, blogging, spent time wif my siblings, duin anything, relaxing my mind n etcetera~ i dint tell anyone dat i've came home~ yup, i dun wan 2 be disturbed. ppl~ they could juz come visit me at my house if they want 2 meet me. . huhu :) 
home sweet home ;>
my roOm~ where i spent much of time dOing things.

actually, i dun really like the colour of my roOm~ the wall.. it's like errrrr yellow+pink.. damn it, its not my idea, i'm sharing diz room wif my elder systa.. n i'm abt 2 change the paint color 2 black+grey, kinda smart i guess!.. it would be 4 the next year.. maybe.. i hope so~ 

sometimes, i love to be in my lil sys's roOm.. (pika n mija)..we had time duin' weird things tOgether.. chat with my siblings n blablabla... =D 

Nov 15, 2010

miss oredy

already mish my fren n my housemate in malacca.. i'm the earliers member of the house leavin'..



-tgk iema baring n tdur kt hall sorg2, dgn wig dia yg x bleh bla..
-tgk ziqa pnye air mate..
-dgr fara jerit2 gduh dgn bf dia
-tahilalat yana
-bau ubat minda ziqa..
-nk usik iema.. tgk iema kerut dahi..
-tgk zieqa tdur siang pkai selimut sekujur tubuh..
-dgr n tgk izah melalut2 mcm org x btul.. hehe
-tgk lyn bejalan dr blek ke dapur, brhnti kt ice box, tgk crmin n dandan rmbut x benti2..
-pg claz plng lmbt almost everyday, haha
-tgk sinki yg slalu pnuh sbb dorg ney mls bsuh pngn, wek2 ;p
-tgk smph berlambak2 mencurah curah ke ladang gandum..
-nk ngintai2 cik akmal selang uma sebela.. woot2 XD
-nk tgk ulat2 peliharaan lyn dpn ruma.. :(
-dgr n tgk izah skype n menggedik2 dpn lappy. hehe
-jerit sekwat2 hati rmai2 xde motif
-mkn smbil tgk tv sme2, latest - chinta -asmara
-tgk cte hantu n shock2
-basuh blek air..
-kemas2 dapur..
-mengumpat kak linda..
-mengumpat ehem2.. =D
-men tgkp2 gmba pkai webcam, yg shape pelik2, then glak tebahak2 cm nk mampos sume.klaka dowh
-pg jalan2 mlm2 bute bile bsn..
-round keliling taman ngn ziqa
-tgk lyn main jambul..
-tgk iema ikat rmbut..
-mnx tlg yana pkaikan slendang..
-fara pakaikan fake eyelashes..
-lauk yg fara salu bwk dr ruma..
-ckp bukan2.. talk abt seks n blablabla.. hahaha.. no privacy, mampos la
-mencarut... bg yana nme kakakonexx.. iema nyonyatutott.. lyn jambulmungil.. yg len x smpt bg nama..
-mkn nasi goreng buatan iema..
-mengutuk2 anisa dlm crte indon anisa tuh,,, sumpah x suke gle babi ! boroh!
-keluar hangout sme2..
-maen hujan sme2 dpn ruma..
-kongsi n tkr2 megi.. yana wat megi plng lembik.. paling~
-izah rjin keluar bli mknn mlm2.. hehex
-stalker, sumenye stalker! haha
-em.. stress sme2 time exam.. bersepah sumpah bersepah2..
-men ngn cindy... iema pun da jd mcm cindy..
-gado2 ngn iema bajet cm pnjwal dadah.. lu di~
-meggedik2 tgk mamat nsem kt mne2 je.. uitm or kt bnda..
-salu cuci mata tgk jacob kt 1st row. pdhl x semegah pon.
-men make up make up n then photoshoot.. haha
-em rndu msk2 sme2 msa awl2 sem dlu..
-bsuh kete sme2 kt luar paki sexy2 awww..
-stay up smpai pagi.. on9~ haha,.
-ckp psl bnda bukan2 dpn iema, then nnt dia wat muka x suka n tgn dia laju je tls tah apa2 kt blog dia. wek2.. haha
-talk abt each other.. experience.. past exes.. sad story.. nice story..
-pg pntai mlm2, men nyanyi2.. jgn lupa lyric..
-kumpulkan n dera sume ank2 haram dlm umh kte..

-too many memories of us <3


-lepak2 gossipping ngn emma n diena..
-kluar ngn bob, emma n diena .. mkn eskem tepi kedai story2..
-pg ikut bob pusing2 melaka..
-wat kje gle ngn ema n diena kcw org tgh tetttttttttt~
-glak2 gle2..
-kcw nyah ngn bob n diena..
-brebut top ngn emma, ehem2. haha.
-tanxs kt daus sbb bnyk tlg jgk, tanxs jgk tlg bwk g hospital.
-lpk kt cafe sme2..
-zul.. blnje coolblog.. rajin bli coolblog..
-syiro.. mrym.. dtg ruma gossip2, lepak2, tdo uma kitorang..
-yg lain pun.. slame 5 sem knl, a lot of memory we experience together..

rindu sume sial~ 

memories to remember =)

bkn nk poyo sedey2 sgt , sbb bkn x leh jmpe lg, tp pasni if jumpa pon maybe x lama, x dduk sma2 lg cm b4~ dats y cm rndu gler~