seems i'm getting out of control . feels like i'm running out of soul . i'm seeing lights . so i speaking right and breathing life . i predicted all my recent plights . i'm exhausted . trying to fall asleep . i'm lost inside my recent fight . it burdens on my shoulder, now . burning all my motors down . inspiration drying up . motivation slowing down . tired of all wardrobe changing . playing all these different spirits . living off these separate souls . point of life is getting hollow . can't wait for the exit hole . give me room to entry wound . let me in or let me go .

Aug 15, 2011

nightmare )=



it was fucking long time since i'm not driving a car. yah~ it was like more than half year. my driving license was already expired n need to renew. no it's not bcuz i dont hv the courage to drive or what... i dint dare not~ cuz in the past i used to always drive n go to anywhere..  i had ever drive in a long journey just by myself all alone, in all nyte long as well~ n i've been able to withstand the traffic congestion especially in a big city like KL.. with a fucking crowded condition~ i've come along with all the mess on the road n etc~ plus, i've experienced 3x road accidents.. n gratefully i'm still able to drive.  okay then.. talk abt the times n chances, yes i do hv a lot of time as i'm having 4month holidays before i further my degree. i had spent 2 month for workin'... so rite now..im enjoying my holidays for 2 month with hell no work.. n i absolutely had the chances to drive my father's car on every friday n also weekend since he wouldnt bring the car to go work on those days. so hella..as stated above, there's no reason aite..
             
okay but the point is, i had a very bad dream abt "me" driving in a worst condition, out of control, lost in the pathway, stuck in a heavy rain n i cant even see the path, lost n mess..sometimes, it was like a long way off n kelaut, n ended up with something morbid n terrible.. yet in my recent dream is dat my brake paddle doesnt work n i cant handle it cuz i was fucking anxious at time~ n myheart beating so fast n even when i had just woken up from sleep.. it still feels~  ya..it was so-called 'nightmare'.. hmm.. the nightmare keep repeating in several times~ n it has frighten me of course.

dayyem.. its just bcuz all those idiot stuffs.. i might be little scared, n feels like traumatic n also reduced my self-confidence a bit~ shittah! hurm )=  so i hv to motivate myself everyday.. -___-' i'm telling myself dat maybe diz kind of overthinkin' will ruin me, ruin the situation, n turn things around, make me worry, n just make things worse than they actually are~ so dont let it be. c'mon naswa, bring out ur inner spirit.. wallahh..  just dun tink abt it too much. dont forget to pray whenever eu feel insecurity. remain cool.. okay naswa ? ^__^ hurm.. k dun worry, in wutever tomorrow bring, Allah will always walk with us thru it.
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