seems i'm getting out of control . feels like i'm running out of soul . i'm seeing lights . so i speaking right and breathing life . i predicted all my recent plights . i'm exhausted . trying to fall asleep . i'm lost inside my recent fight . it burdens on my shoulder, now . burning all my motors down . inspiration drying up . motivation slowing down . tired of all wardrobe changing . playing all these different spirits . living off these separate souls . point of life is getting hollow . can't wait for the exit hole . give me room to entry wound . let me in or let me go .

Mar 29, 2012

random thought of mine

i know at the beginning of the chapter, everything goes smoothly, everything was just nice, no trouble, sweet-sweet things happen around, we care much about each other, smile myself just like retarded steel over the phone everyday when we're texting.. but WHAT IF we already reach in the middle, where at time we start to pay less attention, start to ignore, and hurt each other, fighting over trivial matter, blaming each other, blaming ppl around, take things for granted and dont attempt to fix things.

am scared of losing, especially when eu're part of my precious. of course! who doesnt? thats why i dont wish to form any bound with eu, thats why i dont put too much hope on eu. yea i was thinking why give hope if in the end, or just in the middle of ongoing relationship or halfway, eu broke me into pieces? owhy say i love eu if later then we're not gonna make it thru? its pathetic to see the happiness gone...slowly <-- definitely! this usually happened.. am used to it. And thats that! all this mix feeling lead me to stop loving, oh actually stop liking or admiring. ..

anyway anywhat..looks can be deceiving. right? it is called "prima facy"... know dat when am taking LAW subject. but the term is being use in LAW n it is not related anyhow~. haha..we called it first sight... where we give first impression towards someone we just knew for a few months.. just like me towards this guy huh...

eu look nice eu look polite eu show respect,. but who know? what are eu actually. who know, when time is moving, when the weather is changing, eu also changing over time to time... unexpectedly. HOW IF?? nahhh... thats what am afraid of. ppl change n this things happen.

well actually am talking this bcuz i've been thru this fucking lame ass shit things for so many many times... it was sick. swear to God. i've cried thousand tears n life sucks at time, everything went wrong n whoh! its terrible enough. godknows am hurt... so i dont wanna be in this pain over n over again.. will someone comprehend me? no? nahh...