today's feeling

its raining outside n deep down inside i miss the old haky :(  I only pity is that it? i felt dat the intimacy between us is diminishing returns..even so, i still keep loving him..despite the differences of today, i still madly in love.. is it so owh damn annoying? hell me go~ let me express my feelings here since i hv no courage to talk abt diz things with others~ well..i'd never cheated on him, all i do is sticking with him...yah..eventho i hv the other male frens..either closely or not, i noe the limit n i dun ever equate them with him. The question marks here is.. "is he do the same as well?" gosh..naswa dun u ever dream to hv someone making u as the special one cuz u're nOthing!~

*humm.. no one knows how confused i am, i do keep it in, as usual~ it's complicated when someone ask me whats's wrong.. then, when i look at them together my hearts fill up with tears, it will not be shown thru the eyes..b'cuz i love him..yea.. i love him so much n sometimes i juz wish he knew <3 "

tongue piercing

the things i'm abt 2 post today is about my tongue piercing..i lost my tongue piercing 2 days b4 the beginning of ramadhan~  but truly i miss them fucking much. its happen when i start 2 feel dat my current tongue's ring is kinda boring n i tot i shud change to the other ring dat i once worn b4.. (the black one).. pathetically i can't go ahead with it cuz dat ring is actually been rust, it hurts my tongue when i tried 2 wear it so dat my tongue had swollen n seriously i can't stand 4 dat, it makes me stop (to wear dat thing) ! yah.. i do regret but it doesn't matter since it occured very near to the month of ramadhan n i do realize dat it is 'makruh'~ so, it's okay then :)  *hope 2 re-pierce it again next time.emm..below is some memories with the tongue's ring.

K.I.S.S.

+Kiss on the stomach = Im ready

+Kiss on the Forehead ="i hope we're together forever"

+Kiss on the Ear = Your my everything

+Kiss on the Cheek = "We're friends"

+Kiss on the Hand = "I adore you"

+Kiss on the Neck = "we belong together"

+Kiss on the Shoulder = "I want you"

+Kiss on the Lips = I love you"

What the gesture means...

+Holding Hands = "we definitely love each other"

+Slap on the Butt = "That's mine"

+Holding on tight = "i don't want to let go"

+Looking into each other's Eyes = "i just plain love you"

+Playing with Hair = "Tell me you love me"

+Arms around the Waist = "I love you too much to let go"

+Laughing while Kissing = "I am completely comfortable with you"

--Advice--

*Dont ask for a kiss, take one.

best brO eva :D

Khairul Izzuwan bin Razali

ouh okay,i used 2 call him as 'k-rol' yeah k-k-k-rolle~ he's 22, while i'm 20.. huhu.. he is my adopted brother who cared about me n ready 2 be my good listener n adviser. he always support me in everything i do n never take advantage towards me,  dats y i love him as my brother n also my bestfren, but not over than dat.. he's kedahan.. n currently working with cOmmunication company at PJ, b4 diz he's working as a reporter under 8tv but idk y he's not working there anymore, maybe got some personal problems~ouh hell yah, y do i talk about his job?? maybe i got nothing much to say rite now.. so i keep talking bout bla..bla.bla.. well i guess it's gonna be more soOn bcuz he promised me to chill me up n having fun around kl about next week.. yah, insyaAllah..hahah. well, 4 me he's kinda smart n fairly nice 2 ppl around him. i knew how honest he is, i bet anyone close 2 him can put a trust towards him. ahhah.. what else 2 praise?  haha.. there's so much more but i think i gtg cuz my fucking hellgreat [ass]ignment still waiting 4 me 2 catch them !  xD huhu.. but ! b4 dat i'm abt 2 post a few pix related 2 us :)

yah,, as i can see.. he loves 2 wear snow cap.. he got a cute hair inside but.. he's kinda 'gedik' maybe asik mo pkai snow cap jak~ ahahaha.. ok then, pretty nice.

 

look?? i wore a unique necklace dat was given by kayrolle. he bought me dis one when he's working outstation in peneng.. i really appreciate it no matter how much the price n how it looks, it would be nice 4 me 2 accept a gift from someone.. as long as it comes from their sincerity.. it seems like he remember me whenever he go.. * at least :) tenkew so much kayrolle :D

yah..  i also bought him something while enjoying my holiday at Bukit gambang waterpark during last semester break.. its called "ole-ole". from me. huhu, here's the pix..

its juz a black chain strap with a fish pendant. cool when u worn it..

n also.. a cute little bag. keep ur cute little stuff inside, huhuhu. dats all..

kayrolle & astamixa

" like bro like lil sys "

Terrible dancers

I hv frequently been confused n frustrated in my life. And sum1 would like 2 do sOmething creative when I feel dat way.. So, diz time, he wrote a poem. It's not a particularly good 1, but I'm going to post it anyway. Not only do I feel a little better reading it, but I learned a new word.. Rive~ It's pretty great. :)

Terrible Dancers

Whirling, twirling, restless
they dance about inside
shifting with the changing music
they step, they slide, they stride

A kaleidoscope of color
their dresses and their coats
a symphony of different songs
pouring from their throats

but these dancers can not survive
nor linger for much time
because their songs are thoughts of mine
and my mind their dance does rive

black veil brides

Black Veil Brides is an American Post-Hardcore band which formed 2006 in Cincinnati, Ohio, USA, currently signed to the label StandBy Records. They have two EP's, Sex & Hollywood and Never Give In, and their debut album, These Wounds was released July 20, 2010.

Current Members

* Andy Six - lead vocals, piano (2006–present)
* Jake Pitts - lead guitar (2009–present)
* Jinxx - rhythm guitar, violin (2009–present)
* Ashley Purdy - bass, backing vocals (2009–present)
* Christian "CC" Coma - drums, percussion (2010–present)

Black Veil Brides is not only a band, but a  rock n roll movement~

BLACK VEIL BRIDES "PERFECT WEAPON"

BLACK VEIL BRIDES "KNIVES AND PENS"

OMG ! their song is FUCKING BRILLIANT who ever dont like it can fuck themselves in the head. they're freaking awesome ! damn,, andy sixx is so dAmn hawt n he is an attractive guy, .Thumbs up if you're tired of hearing everybody talk about how hot Andy Sixx is and you're here just to listen to the song. HE'S 'EMO KID' :) n i like it~ well, Knives and Pens and Perfect Weapon kinda have the same song meaning.

hairul idzwan :]

Its been 1 n half year since my late bf, herol died...yesterday, i've been visited his grave with aunt yati n i felt upset 4 standing next to 'him'..yea.. it brings back memories.. gud and bad~ as much as i hate him..but deep down inside i still misses him and love him..i know, n still can remember like it was just yesterday..  happened so fast..n till today, i hv a new dilemma with love..and i cant 4get him..he was my first, my first in everything..2 know what love is, to be the person i am today..he teaches me the cruel world, the hardship of life, the kind of human exist in this world~ He was the first to cheat on me,but i forgive him, because the person he cheated me on, now is one of the precious person in my life..najieha..gud and bad things happen, its sad dat he pass away at a young age, just after he wanted 2 change his life..2 be a better person..i miss him..sometimes i feel as if he is watching me,he’s watching najieha too..when we were out..i felt dat he was kinda happy that i and najieha got along well..maybe its just me...maybe its my feelings..im sorry dat i cant be there 4 u herol..i might not be strong 2 see u in a condition dat I myself cant imagine..sometimes i feel dat najieha was lucky she got 2 be with u until the end...n all i got is waiting 4 u, the day u promised 2 return..but u dint...u went away forever..leaving me by myself for a long time..until today i misses u..the last time i saw u was at the carnival..i dint even talked 2 u, my mood destroyed our last meet..herol..i miss u so much..sueha doakan herol berada dlm kalangan org2 yg beriman...may god bless u :') al-fatihah~

as you all can see...the reason i love haky a lot is because he reminds me of herol, my late bf...yes..i love haky as much as i love herol..the two person i cant get myself to let go off..his attitude,the way they act,both of them do love kids n 'baby' :) it almost the same to me..even his smile, hair style, dress...talk, walk, eyes...hmmm....love really does hurts when u truly love someone..

I realized something...love doesn’t exist...yah,~ it doesn’t..but what is this feeling i feel inside? y does it hurts everytime i see the person i assume i love happy with another girl? why do i feel hate towards him? is it because his not with me? is it because he cheated me? he’s not mine? If love does exist..then i would say i love him...yes..i love him..yes naswa..u love him...but i guess its not enough...he doesn’t see it..what can i do? can i take another beating to the ground? i'll do anything...but face the fact naswa...he never love u as u do...hmmmm..... :(

from my lappy's diary last year

"strength is about how well u hide the pain"

.fall in lurve 0r fall in hate. .get inspired 0r be depressed. .ace a test 0r flunk a class. .make babies 0r make art. .speak the truth 0r lie and cheat. .dance 0n tables 0r sit in the c0rner. .life is divine cha0s.embrace it. .f0rgive y0ur self.breathe. .and enj0y the ride. . just wanna be al0ne . just wanna tke a little breather . cause lately all we d0 is f8 . n evry time it cuts me deeper . cause smthng's chnged . eu've been acting s0 strnge . n its taking t0ll 0n me . its safe 2 say dat i'm ready 2 let eu leave . with0ut eu,i live it up a little m0re evryday . with0ut eu,i'm seein' myself s0 differently . i didn't wanna believe it then . but it all w0rked 0ut in the end . when i watched eu walk away . well i nvr th0ught i'd say . i'm fine with0ut eu . .

 

Falling down erasing memories u gave 2 me.. I can’t take diz pain coz I’m dying.. I can’t close my eyes coz I’m crying.. i think I’m going insane.. 

it safe 2 say 'we are besfren' rite?? so much tanxs 2 eu dear

i'm better off without eu~

i'm so sick

I will break into your thoughts

With what's written on my heart

I will break, break

I'm so sick, infected with

Where I live

Let me live without this

Empty bliss, selfishness

I'm so sick

I'm so sick

If you want more of this

We can push out, sell out, die out

So you'll shut up(Shut up)

And stay sleeping

With my screaming in your itching ears

I'm so sick, infected with

Where I live

Let me live without this

Empty bliss, selfishness

I'm so sick

I'm so sick

Hear it, I'm screaming it

You're heeding to it now

Hear it, I'm screaming it

You tremble at the sound

You sink into my clothes.

This invasion makes me feel

Worthless, hopeless, sick

I'm so sick, infected with

Where I live

Let me live without this

Empty bliss, selfishness

I'm so

I'm so sick

I'm so sick, infected with

Where I live

Let me live without this

Empty bliss, selfishness

I'm so (I'm so)

I'm so sick (I'm so sick)

I'm so (I'm so)

I'm so sick (I'm so sick)

hey, i'm gemini :)

 

Basic Characteristics Profile
The sun enters Gemini from May 21 to June 20 every year. This is the first air sign of the zodiac and also the first sign of communication and music. Gemini individuals are basically known for their dual nature. They usually behave younger than their chronological age and are regarded as prince of the zodiac.

Career Love & Health
For Gemini people, this year brings a 70-30 combination of good (70%) and bad (30%). They will change their personality for good this year. Mature behavior at work and home will bring in a lot of solace. A change of place is waiting. It might be a change of house or a change of workplace. Decorative and renovation work at home is also on the cards. Owing to the bad health of some key person in the office or organization, extra responsibility will come on you.

New partnerships, new contacts, sudden traveling, and unexpected foreign trips are in-store. This is applicable to individuals born between 6 am to 8 am, irrespective of the place. There are chances of developing a new skill or getting new training for your vocation as well. Even a promotion is on its way. If you are tangled in court matters, a reprieve is about to come. Old enemies will become friends once again.

2nd May 2010 (10 pm) to 25th June 2010 (12.30 am)

This is a good time to develop your personality and charisma. Your intelligence will be at its peak and give good dividends. You will come across a lot of creative and innovative ways to improve your position. A lot of research will also come through this time, for the benefit of the society and the company.

xxxi was born in 29 may 1990xxx

upset ;(

 

currently things hv been bugging me so much dat i had 2 express my feelings here..

A feeling of enormous pain dat is more then anything imaginable. It cannot be cured by medicine, or treated by anything but time~ 4 those dat know diz feeling too well, it is not a physical pain dat can be described, but sOmething deep inside. Breathing gets hard, eating becomes tasteless, n love~ well, what is love anymore. u forget. Yet u remember, remember how 2 love, n who u love~ which makes it hurt so bad. Let it go ppl say, but how can u. Feelings are feelings, and u love who u love.

Heartbreaks occur most when u love someone u are not suppose to~
I love him, and I tot he loves me. Unfortunately, it was all a fantasy. Reality stuck 4 me to see, he was simply playing with me. He might hv had feelings 4 me, Idk~ It's still hard 2 let him go, I still want 2 see him from time to time - but the hurt inside will always remind me of him..~

HAPPY EID :)

 

 

~family n relatives~

1st syawal :)

daytime : woke up early morning, eat 2gether wif the whole fmly , visiting frens , ppl came 4 beraya, kids came 4 'duit raya', watching raya's muvi on astro channels, went to late grandfather's n granny's grave, sleep..

nyte : skycrapers at surrounding !! :) its beautiful..

bimbimm

 

muhd haniff maula ali

( haky ) [ muh bimbim ] 

 

hahahhhaha... tetibe je en nk msuk nih pix kt cni..aishh semak je, menyemak plak~ err.. tp syg plak en kt dia ney, even dia x syg aq sgt pun.xpe2. d sbbkn xde kje n i hv no idea wut to post today,so aq crta jak psl c mamat neyh, adoi~ ni papa cindy la, tp ney time rmbut dia pnjng. i used 2 call him 'bimbim'.. diz  bcoz he's calling me 'bambam'. i dunno since when i start to hv feeling with him, but knl da lama jgk la since sem 1 kutt. can't remember~ well, dia ni suka pasan comeyl, tp xpela, dia mmg comeyl.sincerely  i said dat i love him, n everytime i say dat to him, i was like..err.. i really really mean it~ so pliz, trust me. wat mse ney, aq xde suka kt spe2 pun kecwali dia, -stick with him- but i actually confuse with our relationship, but officially we are married already in FB..  its maybe put him as mine, n ''i'm yours''..but i dun think he took serious on diz. it was like an unsure relationship or wut?? idk2~ lol~  umm.. but i do "sayang" him. :( *sigh.. i usually text with him from day to night~  it is common things in my life now. i usually juz ignore incoming calls n messages from the other guys.. idk y~ mls kutt,, i dun really interested to respond to ppl those who text me, other than haky. ngade an?? lorh..

ouh ya, i tot he was shoswit when he giv me a 'famous amous cookies' . hahaha.. lol~ n prnh jgk belikan aq 'nasi ayam penyek' it sounds funny, but i can feel sweet enuf 4 dat thing, huU~ ahah! aq prnh masakkan aym msk ungkep (my dad's recipe).. aq blajar tuh smata2 kutt nk bg dia rasa mskn aq, gila poyo nk mati, adehh~

dia suka demam2, antibody x kwat! wekk ;p ... pnh la jgk skali tuh aq bg dia ubat2 yg x seberapa manisnya, hahah~ rasakan~ dgel plak tuh tanak mkn ubt. wut else.. err.. he's nice.. quite nice~ yup, i felt jealous when he's wif other gurl, but wut can i do, i dun wanna be the one yg "kongkong" cuz i'm not his special gf, rite? not even once, there's no title of gf n bf. we juz a couple of husband n wife, but its not a real~ we juz using dat title. sometimes, bila aq rasa jeles or marah dgn dia, aq akn kurangkn text dgn dia, making myself busyi, n pretend 2 be 'poyo'~ wallauweyh~ it hurts actually. But WHAT SHOULD I DO????? he's not mine, i do realize that.. :( aq tanak la dia rasa annoy dgn aq sbb bnda2 remeh ney. dats y la aq biarkn jak if dia nk kluar dgn sepa pun. kinda cool rite? :)  i admit dat i always smile in front of my fon's screen while texting wif him. its just a simple text but enuf 2 make me happy. hey frens around me??? did u realize dat??? =D ... haha. emm..

 

i hate flash! , yah me toO larh~

ahah, i snap his photo while lepaking in front of his house. he's cute with his long hair, but although it was short now, he's still my cute one :) n i love him <3

 

well.. i bought him a simple bracelets engraved the name of 'haky' while i'm duin my group assignment in kuantan. its just like an 'ole-ole'..

 

haha.. i carve those words on the sand beaches special for haky :) Location : Telok Cempedak, Kuantan.

 

~his CROCs & my SLIPPERS~

..nothing much to say bout diz..it's cute aite..